Not the Trip but the Journey....

Many things were going on this weekend….Not just a journey to enjoy time with one of my favorite people ever, Bonnie, but so much more at home, with me, and everything!

This trip marks the first time (minus an overnighter in AK for a wedding a while back) that I have been away from the 2 loves of my life for any real period of time.  And with every text, every picture Stephen sends, every baby I see snuggling with their mommy at restaurants, every romantic glance I steal of Bonnie and Chad, or in a movie, or of a cute little family, makes me long for sneaking one or 4 little kisses from my baby daddy!  I hate how often we take each other and our time together for granted. What an amazing man to be willing to let his wife head out to see a friend for a long weekend, and sacrifice his time to be a FULL TIME Single Dad!!  He is incredible. Our momma’s are incredible too. Both willing to help out and be maternal figures while I’m gone and give daddy some down time…so blessed.

This trip also marks the end of my time nursing little bit. Why does that matter?  Well, it’s been such a journey. Toting a ginormous breast pump to and from the office, slaving over keeping my production up during the day while away from her, but loving the moments of pure innocent bonding Annabelle and I have when she looks into my eyes every morning and evening while finding comfort in me. It’s amazing. I strove for 6 months and found that stopping wasn’t really necessary, but was harder then I thought. So the gradual slow down, dropping mid day pumping, and then pumping all together (Halleluiah!) Now we had gone from morning and before bed, and primarily just mornings, and embracing each moment with her. 

The morning I left, I had planned for our last “meal” to be so tender and sweet...but it wasn’t. I was SO rushed and hurried to get out the door so I would make my flight, and we had to stop about midways through in a rushed sitting… Stink. So that journey is coming to an end, which is fine and good, and I am happy to “get my body back” so I hear it said. I think a little piece of me held onto it because of that special bond, and knowing how incredible of a dad Stephen is, that it was something special she had with me.  He’s really, probably TOO good of a dad. He’s always in the floor, playing, making her giggle, patient, fun, I mean, we are 2 blessed girls! I know I’m a good momma, but He’s a LOT to compete with!  Not that I have to compete, I know I know, I just hope we can keep that strong bond and grow and develop other special things between us. I am certain we will, that one was just so easy and natural.

So here I am, 9 hours away from my Loves, missing them so much it’s crazy. Am I enjoying myself? ABSOLUTELY!  Bonnie is a wonderful hostess! Food, Fun, Laughs, Excitement!  It’s great! But I can’t help but imagine how much better if would be if Stephen and Annabelle had made the trip.  They didn’t because it was supposed to be girl time. Much needed girl time. And staying in the bed until 9:30am, let’s face it….pure DELICIOUSNESS.  Oh, but I long to get back home. Back to that sweet little voice at 7am… ”Momma… MaMaMaMaMaMa….. Momma….”  then creeping in to see a little set of eyes and a brow peeking over the bedrail, smiling from ear to ear for me to scoop her up and bring her into the bed with us for breakfast. I love those mornings. Who needs sleeping in….?  ;)

So my Journey continues. “Time Out” is amazing for perspective and clarity on things. Another fun day planned for tomorrow out at the market and around town, and later dinner. I wonder what all will be revealed to me in my time away from all that matters most to me?

One thing I know for certain, is that the petty stuff I surround myself with…the back and forth and hopefulness of house hunting and showings and potential renovations….all of it, means nothing. My home, cliché as it may be, is where Stephen Michael & Annabelle Cate is. I will see you soon my darlings!